Breaking Bodies

Our morning begins with a bit of stress, as I have been unable to contact the Enterprise rental car office from which we're supposed to retrieve a car the next day. I'm used to them reaching out to confirm beforehand, haven't heard a peep, and they're not answering their phones during business hours. Hiring a car has already been a bit of an issue due to Queen Elizabeth's funeral closing everything on the day we were originally supposed to pick it up, and failing to acquire one will throw off all of our meticulously-made plans. So instead of starting off our day with the visit to the farmer's market we have planned, we find ourselves walking to Waverley train station and hunting down the rental car office to confirm in person. Their computers have been on the fritz and there's a long line of people waiting to pick up or drop off their cars. Fortunately, they are able to look up my reservation and confirm my car for the following morning.

The Royal Mile

Satisfied with that, we leave the station and head down to Holyrood Park where we've decided to make the climb to Arthur's Seat, an extinct volcano and the highest point in the city. It doesn't look that high from down below, and there appear to be several gently climbing paths to the top, so we're confident it will be no problem. About halfway up, we realize we've bitten off more than we can chew and should have worn better clothes and shoes for the climb. It is not only quite steep in some areas, but the large rocks and gravelly paths are slippery and treacherous. We take several sweaty breaks, but eventually reach the top, take in the breathtaking view for a few moments, and then begin our descent. Going back down isn't that much easier and it's slow going trying to get down from the rocky outcrop of the summit. But eventually we are back on flat ground with burning leg muscles.

King Arthur's Seat

There are a few more sights to see on the Royal Mile, so first we stop into Canongate Kirkyard, where the inspiration for Ebenezer Scrooge is supposedly buried, but fail to find him. Instead, we find Adam Smith and, satisfied with that, we continue on our way.

The gravestone of Adam Smith

Next we enter St. Giles' Cathedral, where Queen Elizabeth's body has recently been. It's an impressive feat of gothic architecture, and the stained glass shines brightly in the mid-afternoon sun. Outside on the plaza, a bagpiper plays his heart out.

St. Giles' Cathedral interior

St. Giles' Cathedral exterior

We turn off the Royal Mile and head to the Surgeons' Hall Museums. Taylor has medical training and I'm just macabre, so this is perfect. It houses an embalmed example of just about everything that can go wrong with every single organ in the body. There is also a small dental collection, and a specific exhibit on robotic surgical techniques, which we find fascinating. By the end, our feet are toast and I now have plenty more nightmare fuel for any health-related anxiety.

We're hungry, so we stop into a Chinese noodle house, named rather simply Noodles Home, a few doors down. The scenery, smells, and clientele promise a good meal is in order, but a sign on the wall (hopefully a bad translation) advertises "rotten meat flavor" as an option for one particular dish. We both settle on relatively safe chow mein and fried green beans, and leave very full and somewhat rested.

"ROTTEN MEAT FLAVOR"

It's mid-afternoon and we're kind of at a loss for what to do, so we just decide to wander a bit. As a result, we stumble upon the Edinburgh Dungeon, whose signage indicates a hokey historical haunted house. It looks fun and silly, so we go in. The tour is hilarious, and different actors take us through several different spooky rooms on gory subjects, such as witch trials, the plague, and grave-robbing. In each new area, the guide asks the name of someone in the group and incorporates them into the scenario. At one point, a very apprehensive Scottish woman is called upon and says her name is "Carolyn" in a low, suspicious tone. It's unintentionally hilarious. She is instructed on how she will participate, to which she replies "Jesus" in the same tone. She is legitimately spooked at times and says "Jesus" here and there as we pass from scene to scene. The guide hears her and says, "Jesus won't save you now!" Taylor and I end up adopting Carolyn's manner of saying "Jesus" and use it frequently throughout the rest of the trip. At the end of the tour is a short carnival ride which just lifts you up about one story and then drops you suddenly for a startle. At that moment, an embarrassing picture of you is also taken and then you're offered to buy it at the end (we declined). This is generally not the type of touristy entertainment we would participate in, but we had a great time anyway.

Waverley bridge

Lastly, we stroll down busy Princes Street on the north side of the Princes Street Gardens (really more of a big lawn), past the impressive Scott Monument, and back toward our apartment. 

Monument to Sir Walter Scott

Edinburgh Castle from afar

By the time we reach home, we are thoroughly spent. We take a load off and I immediately check my e-mail, only to find a disappointing message from Enterprise who, despite having gone out of my way to confirm my reservation, is asking me to be "flexible" by picking up the car later in the day. This isn't really an option for us because of the bookings we've made, and I'm thoroughly annoyed and stressed all over again. Furthermore, all rental car offices in the city are now closed and I have no way to resolve this issue except by going in person first thing in the morning and hoping for the best. Little did I know, this was only the beginning...