Laying Siege to Scotland's Castles

After a sleepless night filled with sudden startles awake and stress dreams about the rental car, I get up with the sun, collect my things, and we order an Uber to the rental car office. This turns out to be the right move because we arrive just before the office opens and are first in line to get one of the supposedly elusive cars from their fleet. Satisfied that our whole itinerary hasn't fallen apart, I cautiously drive us back to the apartment. I have done left-sided driving before, several years ago in New Zealand, but it takes some getting used to and city traffic is not terribly forgiving. Luckily, our early start has allowed me to avoid pissing off the locals with my granny driving. We collect our baggage from the apartment and hit the road. After a quick hour with some good tunes, we arrive in Stirling.

Just glad we have a car

Immediately, we are struck by the breathtaking beauty of this place. The car winds up the narrow stone-lined roads and we reach the parking lot of Stirling Castle, which overlooks the historic village, cathedral, and large cemetery. The fields in the distance glow brilliant green, cows and sheep graze, and large cylinders of recently-baled hay rest in the fields.

Snowdon Cemetery, Stirling

We're both exhausted, hungry, and have arrived before most of the castle's employees, so we decide to descend into the village to find sustenance before our tour. Since it is still early, there is little traffic, and I'm grateful that there's no competition on these narrow roads while I adjust to operating a car with the steering wheel on the opposite side. We grab some food and drinks from a small prêt-a-manger café and return to the castle parking lot to eat.

As soon as it opens, we go inside and explore all it has to offer. Taylor is not shy about ducking into every little stone arch, fire place, and blind corner to see what might be hiding there. Although the great hall, bedchambers, and chapel are all impressive, our favorite part is just walking along the crumbling ramparts and looking up at the structure as a whole from all angles. We spend a full two hours here and clear out just as the hoards of tourists are arriving.

A hearth large enough to cook a whole man!

Curtsying in an arch

The throne room

The Great Hall

Firm but just 

Well-worn rampart stairs

Next we drive about 15 minutes down the road to the village of Doune, where the famous Doune Castle sits nestled next to the River Teith. This castle is probably most well-known for having been featured in several scenes of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It also serves as the setting for the Outlander series, and was used in the pilot of Game of Thrones. We recognize it as soon as we see it. For some reason, the staff here is all really cheery and friendly. A lady hands us the audioguide devices that come free with our passes, and adds that the guide is quite good. Taylor turns his on and we immediately hear the action theme from the Monty Python movie and start to laugh (you can see the castle at the end of the linked clip). The audioguide is narrated by Terry Jones and hearing his familiar voice again warms my heart. The tour is indeed quite good, both informative and funny, and we learn a lot about this small but impressive structure.

Taylor moves a cat who is insisting on blocking traffic

He is extremely cute (and not amused).

Taylor at Doune Castle

Doune Castle exterior

Doune Castle courtyard and well

Doune Castle interior

Doune Castle ramparts

Having a royal shite

Peak Scotland: Irn Bru and haggis chips

Afterward we follow the path behind the castle for a short walk along the River Teith. It's peaceful and beautiful (once we get away from a hoard of screaming children, that is), and our only worry is encountering giant hogweed for which there are several warning signs. It apparently has the power to really fuck up your life, potentially rendering you blind! The path leads us back into the village, where we have lunch at a small cafe. 

Oh shit!

Peaceful River Teith

An enchanted trail

Charming cows

We return to Stirling to check into our Airbnb. Once in our apartment, we charge our devices and rest our feet for a bit, and then prepare to go to dinner. We decide to walk the mile into town, not realizing that the route takes us over a steep grassy hill that is well populated with bunnies. They don't seem very perturbed by our presence. 

Someone has recommended we check out the Curly Coo Bar in town. We walk through its doors and into a charming space and are warmly greeted by Mandy, the bar's owner. She is a whiskey encyclopedia and advises Taylor on what to try. We take a seat at a small table near a wood-burning fireplace that has imbued the whole place with a smoky aroma reminiscent of a cigar shop. The carpet and upholstery are deep reds and browns, and the ceiling is high with complicated crown molding. We sit contentedly for a couple hours, watching Mandy interact with her clientele so naturally and sincerely. She clearly remembers people who have been there before, even when it has been a long time. There is a reason hers has been voted best whisky bar more than once. You feel seen here, even if you're only seen once in your lifetime.

The cozy Curly Coo Bar

We decide it's time for dinner and walk to a nearby restaurant that is well rated and has an interesting menu. We don't have a booking, and they tell us they can't seat us even though the restaurant is half-empty when we arrive. I realize there are organizational forces at work that I don't understand, but this still annoys me. I call my second choice, a hotel restaurant a short walk away, and they say they'll have no problem seating us. The food ends up being good, and service decent, and we leave fat and happy. As we exit onto the street, rain is falling for the first time since our arrival. We have a 30-minute walk back to the Airbnb, but this does not trouble us, and we enjoy the night views of the castle in the misty fresh air.

Just a wee bit damp

Stirling Castle lit on the hilltop