Home I'll Never Be: Idaho

I have never felt particularly strong ties to the country or specific state or town where I was born. I have always seen this as a mere coincidence. A single variation in the trajectory of events leading up to my birth could have caused me to be born elsewhere or not at all. Therefore, I can't say I have ever felt pride about where I am from. I realize I could have been born somewhere far shittier– Afghanistan, for instance– but I also know that many other places have far more to offer me than the U.S. in the terms of safety, security and opportunity. However, I've come to realize that the happiness part is all on me.

In the past when I have travelled I have struggled with culture shock upon re-entry to the U.S. This usually starts with my first encounters with TSA, customs and border control. There's nothing quite like being made to feel like a criminal for leaving your very own land of the free and the brave. I mean, why on earth would anyone think of voyaging beyond those borders to see what else is out there? In the last ten years I have been subjected to unauthorized luggage searches, intrusive questions (Charlie was even asked his religion upon re-entry once) and now have to submit to having a nude picture taken of me followed by a good, solid groping. If I was a pervert, I would work for TSA. Anyway, aside from being made to remove my shoes, a practice which is nonexistent in Europe, and having a zealous TSA officer question me after suspecting that I was traveling with a couple of shady Russians who I happened to be standing near in line, things went as smoothly as could be expected.

My only reason for going back to the U.S. was to sell my car, which I did manage, essentially breaking even for the cost of the trip. As has been the pattern in the past for me, I was expecting to encounter the usual depression that arises when coming into contact with places and people that I associate with times in my life when I was very unhappy. On the contrary, I had a great time. I spent half of my trip in Seattle and half of it in Idaho, getting some quality time in with family and friends and their babies who have been born during my absence.

Less than 48 hours after my initial arrival in Seattle, I collected my car from its babysitter and set out on a day-long road trip across Washington, through Eastern Oregon, finally hitting Nampa around dinner time.

I stayed with my dad, Ruben, and step-mom, Debbie, whose rustic house in the boonies is like a little piece of heaven. My first few days there, thanks to jet-lag, I was up before dawn.

A blood-red sun rising through forest fire haze.

While I waited for the world to wake up, I looked at old pictures.

 I have the cutest little brother ever.

Then, I headed over to my cousin Mindy's house to visit her and her kiddos.

 Connor had grown a lot since I saw him last.

Sissy and big brother.

This was my first time meeting Cheyanne.

Then it was off to lunch with my friends Brenda and Hayley (mother and daughter) and Hayley's new little guy, Owen.

 Give that boy some beans!

Cuddle buddy

The next morning I spent a few hours with my brother and his roommate at their zoo. Their housepets include a cat, a rabbit, a bird and a snake: a complete food chain, basically.

 Manny, pouting about wearing his cone.

 Eddie and Taylor

The pirate and the parrot

After hanging with those two a while, we all went to lunch with my Mom and Michael at Idaho Pizza, one of my favorite places in town, where I had a couple killer slices of pepperoni.

That evening my dad and Debbie were kind enough to throw me a BBQ so that I could see a good portion of all the people I needed to see in one go. Much to my surprise, it also served as an impromptu, (very) early 30th birthday party for me, complete with cheesecake.

 Prep time: Debbie takes over my corn-shucking job. I take a picture.

 Leetle Brahther and Honorary Leetle Brahther, Tom.

 Michael, Mom and Tom's baby, Nevaeh.

 Probably being smart-asses, as usual.

 My classy uncle, Milo (with his beer sling), chats with Aunt Yolanda. Taylor looks perturbed in the background.

 Feedin' the baby

 Feedin' the adults

 Dad and me

 Los Garcia

 Dad playing lifeguard. The children were thoroughly amused.

We spent the majority of the following day lounging on the back patio like this:

Looking out at this:

 Dad and his buddy, Willy.

We did take a brief break from utter sloth to go visit my grandma, who is adorably demented. She was joyfully eating a bag of Cheetos and watching the military channel when we walked in. Several times during our visit she made fun of the facial features of the men appearing on TV, making special mention of Hitler's funny little mustache. She also asked my brother "¿Tienes gerfriend?" and when he said "no" she commented that it would be difficult for him to find one because of his "big earrings". Then she told us about the recent conflicts between she and her monolingual English roommate, who allegedly parks her wheelchair in front of the door and sticks her leg out to block it so that my grandmother cannot enter the room. The nursing home is a tough place!

 Once upon a time

Once upon a later time

 Aunt Yolanda, Dad and Dad's cool hair

On the way back, I made note of several Idaho-ish features that I hadn't seen in a while.

Wide open space

Lake Lowell

I have no idea what this is called, but it's for moving hay bales.

Cattle chute

Praying mantis!!!

That evening I went to have dinner with my wonderful friend and former co-worker, Pamela. While there she fed me a BLT and then showed me her impressive garden and her fantastic yarn room. Her giant cat also showed me his vast, fuzzy belly.

She spins her own!

The next morning, I had breakfast with Brenda, Hayley and Owen again and then the sweet little mister took a nap on my shoulder.

In the afternoon I went out to see my maternal great-grandmother, who is in her 90s, and then began a long and unsuccessful attempt to rent a car to drive back to Seattle (because I had sold the one I drove to Idaho). Thanks to some stupid-ass golf tournament that had just arrived in town, all cars between Nampa and Portland had been rented out for the next several days. This derailed my plans for stopping in Portland to visit my nephews and squeeze in some tax-free shopping. I ended up just booking a plane ticket back to Seattle for the next day. We spent my final evening in Nampa having some family gardening time at my dad's place.

 Dad shows Taylor a giant peach.

 Tay digs up horseradish.

Zucchini is serious business.

 Picking raspberries

 Raspberries galore

 Big sky sunset

 The fruits of our labor... on ice cream.

I spent most of the following day running around town with my brother and Eddie and then they drove me to the airport. I bought a postcard of Lizard Butte at the Idaho-themed store in the airport, intending to send it to Charlie (but never did), and was on my way.